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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?